From “Obsessivetown” to “Moderationland:” how to reprogram all-or-nothing thinking

I’ve spent my whole life telling myself I’m an ALL or NOTHING person.

If life were a pendulum, I’m either living in “Obsessivetown” or “Slackerville”, never stopping along the way in “Moderationland” to stop, relax, and smell the roses. 🌹🌹🌹

Take, for instance, my journey to heal my shoulder. Instead of simply starting with a 10-minute meditation each day, I pushed myself to choose the most challenging and longest meditation I could find. I quickly found myself solely consuming self-help and chronic pain books and podcasts, neglecting the fun books I used to enjoy.

Before I knew it, I had become a resident of Obsessivetown.

So I sought guidance from my coach, and this is what we came up with.

🔹 I realized my narrative that I “dont know how to do moderation” was the only thing stopping me from doing moderation.
🔹 I found evidence for ways in which I actually already WAS living in moderation (becoming a detective for the opposite).
🔹 I made adjustments to my weekly routine, identifying what I truly wanted to keep and what I could let go.
🔹 I discovered that living in moderation makes me feel uncomfortable. So in order to stay there, my goal was to be aware of my thoughts and feelings.

I’ve been living in my new digs in Moderationland for a few weeks and it feels wonderful!

I’m able to do this by:

✅ Creating a new narrative – moderation IS possible.
✅ I’ve kept to my new routine.
✅ I became a detective for the opposite. I’m constantly looking for and documenting evidence that it is possible to live in moderation. For example, I meditate for 10-15 min a day (vs 1 hour+), I’ve been enjoying super fun romance novels, and other activities to ensure that I stop and “smell the roses”. 🌹
✅ I stay aware of my thoughts and feelings and ensure to experience the discomfort instead of running away from it.